


Please don't say you love me

by littlemaple



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, commitment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemaple/pseuds/littlemaple
Summary: Arthur doesn't want Alfred to say I love you because he’s not ready to say it himself.





	Please don't say you love me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haruhi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haruhi/gifts).



> Here's another short fic! Hope you guys will like it!   
> This is based on the song "please don't say you love me" by Gabrielle Aplin!

 

It was not that Arthur had a problem with commitment. He just had a problem with speaking up how he felt and dealing with what came after it. He really liked Alfred, who he’d been seeing for the past five months, but just thinking about looking into his eyes and saying he was in love made him feel squeamish. He hadn’t dated anyone else besides Alfred during those five months, even though they hadn’t said a word about being exclusive or asked the other to be boyfriends - which they pretty much were. They went out to dates, held hands in public, slept at each other’s place and cooked breakfast together… it was really nice, and Arthur had fallen in love, but he didn’t want to say it, he didn’t want things to… to change. He had his life and Alfred had his, and he didn’t want to suddenly start talking about moving in together, adopting a pet together… it was too much for Arthur. And he knew if he said any of this, things would get complicated, and he didn’t want to deal with it.

Maybe he had a problem with commitment after all.

But the thing was… he really loved Alfred, and he didn’t want things to change between them. And he knew Alfred loved him back, too, if the way he smiled when caressing Arthur’s cheek after they’d had sex meant anything; and the way he kissed Arthur’s forehead sweetly, the way he hugged Arthur from behind to kiss his neck when Arthur was cooking… Arthur knew Alfred loved him too.

And he also knew Alfred wanted to talk about it.

And he was terrified.

“I need to tell you something,” Alfred said that evening after the movie they had been watching ended, holding Arthur’s hand and pressing his lips against his knuckles.

“Yeah?” Arthur asked awkwardly.

“Yeah. I, uh… I’ve been meaning to say this for awhile, but something always gets on the way…” Arthur knew that. He usually was the  _something_  himself. A shattered mug or a spider on the wall or a burned dishcloth. “So… What I wanted to say is…”

“What is that?!” Arthur stood up with a jump, walking to the window and leaving a perplexed Alfred behind.

“What?”

“I thought I had seen something out there,” he lied, pointing out the window. Alfred stood up and walked to where he was, examining the cloudy night sky.

“I don’t see anything. What was it?”

“I don’t know, maybe it was just a bird…” Arthur laughed awkwardly, “I’ll, uh… Grab a glass of water, hold on.”

“We have water here,” Alfred pointed out. There were a couple bottles of water on the coffee table, as well as glasses.

“This water has been sitting here for hours, I’ll get something fresh,” Arthur said quickly, turning his back to Alfred and walking to the kitchen.

Arthur was feeling relieved to escape that yet again, however, it did not last long. Still standing next to the window, Alfred said, loud and clear, “I love you.”

Silence fell upon them like a heavy fog. Arthur didn’t turn, closing his eyes.

“I really love you, and I want to be with you… Sorry if it’s not romantic,” Alfred laughed, “But I felt like if I didn’t say now, I wouldn’t be able to say it later.”

Arthur felt heavy, awkward and weird. He should turn, he should smile, he should say he loved Alfred back, because he did, but it wasn’t that simple. He just couldn’t do it. The words wouldn’t leave his mouth. He closed his eyes, feeling each passing second become heavier and heavier.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Alfred was faster:

“You don’t love me,” he stated quietly. “Okay. Well. Uh. It’s okay. I… This is awkward,” he laughed, “But, uh… I kinda saw this coming… You never let me say it. You always distract me. I was afraid you didn’t love me, but I… I couldn’t keep…” Alfred sighed. “Maybe I should get going and we talk later, yeah?”

If Alfred left, it’d be over. Arthur knew so, and his eyes got watery. That was just the worst. Why couldn’t things just be simple?

“... It’s…” he started, still not turning to face Alfred. He crossed his arms, hugging himself, “... It’s not that I don’t love you.”

“You don’t? Wait. You do? Then…?” Alfred asked.

“It’s complicated,” was all Arthur managed to say at first. Behind him, Alfred sighed loudly.

“Listen, I’m an astrophysics student, I’m pretty sure it’s not complicated enough for me if you care to explain,” he said with that cocky tone of his that was one of the few things Arthur disliked about him.

“Ugh, it’s…” Arthur rolled his eyes, looking up then down again, “Nevermind.”

“Don’t  _nevermind_  me, I want to know! Tell me!” Alfred demanded, walking to Arthur and holding his arm, turning him around and making them face each other. Arthur obviously looked away, and Alfred sighed, “You gotta tell me. I won’t know if you don’t tell me.”

Arthur bit his lip, looking away, still with his arms crossed. His chest felt heavy and warm and cold all at the same time. He hated confrontations like those; he wanted to run away, hide, wait for it to be ended so he could feel guilty about it and then move on.

Only he didn’t want to move on from Alfred.

He loved Alfred.

“It’s just…” he sighed, looking down, “It’s not that simple, okay? I don’t even know, it’s just… it’s hard. For me to say it. It’s not… I don’t want… I don’t want things to change,” he whispered, “But if you say it then I have to say it, so… And then… I don’t know. It’s complicated,” His face was burning up, and he felt ridiculous. He wanted to run and hide, but Alfred was still holding his arm.

Alfred sighed, then hugged him.

“You know,” he said, “for an English major you’re really bad with words.”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Arthur hissed, trying to escape the hug, but Alfred hugged him tighter.

“You’ll have to explain what you mean exactly, cuz I don’t get it. But I’m happy you love me,” he said, placing a soft, gentle kiss on Arthur’s forehead.

That would be difficult, and Arthur would rather just run away and hide still, but… things had changed now, and he could either run away or face Alfred and explain his feelings.

And he loved Alfred, he really did, so he could at least try.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! I had a lot of fun writing this and it's always nice to see what you guys thought of it! :D


End file.
